Appreciation, the blessing of not knowing
weeks. Yesterday I was able to go out on about a three-mile run and I didn't feel any
pain, so I was pretty excited to go out on this trail run. This time I decided to do some
speed work to give it a go, right? Well, on my second interval I started feeling the pain
come back, so I decided to stop running and just walk back to my car.
I thought about my races coming up and my season and I thought about how the injury
will be fine by then. If not ... Actually I never really thought about if not. I'm just sure it's
going to be fine by then, but I decided to ask myself why this is happening? If it's happening
because God wants it to happen, what might He want me to do right now? I started
looking around and just wanting to love God.
It was amazing, this experience that I had. I just started praying and I started telling God
about how magnificent He is. God the Creator of space, the stuff that I'm able to swim
in, this air that I'm able to flow through. Time, this ability to experience life, and then
everything else that I can see. Everything that's living, everything that isn't, everything
that I can't see. Then there's the question of consciousness, you know?
Life and consciousness and how it's connected and if this is God-given, which I believe it
is, then it's all connected. It all comes from God. So we must have this level of
connection but there's something that separates us and it's just about coming back to
that connection. Isn't it amazing, this gift that we have? We didn't do anything to
deserve this. There is nothing we did prior to life that says I deserve to live.
All that we can do is appreciate it. So I thought about this appreciation for a little bit. I
thought about appreciating all the things that I just mentioned, but also about how
much I don't know. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. There is so much
that's unknown in this life that I would be ignorant to say that I knew. Where did the
first tree come from? Is this tree even real? I mean, look at quantum physics. Look at
string theory and the theory of a multiverse. What is this stuff that we're living in? If
we have these theories about reality then it just goes to show that we really don't
know what reality is.
So we are constantly in this state of unknowing. Knowing that we don't know, struggling
to pretend that we do for comfort. Isn't that what faith is, being comfortable with what
we don't know? If we really don't know anything then what better reason to appreciate
it? Giving thanks to loving my life and loving who I am and loving others. I mean isn't
that like if we're all connected to the same thing, which is God, which is the gift of
Creation, that we just really don't know, and we're struggling to know, and we're all a
piece of it, then if we want to love God we have to love ourself because we're part of it.
because if we don't love others, then we don't love the extension of what is God. This
gift of everything else, space, that we swim through every day, time that allows us to
just experience and view life for this brief moment in existence, and everything that
we're allowed to play with and nurture, care for. Isn't it amazing, the fact that we don't
know and all that there really is, is appreciation and love for this chance to experience