"We are rewarded in public, for what we practice for years in private,"

Image result for partyWhen I started using it was all in fun. All the friends were drinking having a good time. I wanted to feel cool. When a select group of people went away together, I wanted in there. I wanted to feel special. This division of superior segregation resulted in my alienation. The actions of repetition during my privacy became my talent. I became better and better at using drugs. Eventually I would receive my reward.
In some social circles I didn’t want people knowing about my addiction. Some friends, authority figures and family. In time, what was hidden would be revealed. My reward was my recognition. The State's ammunition resulted in repetitive incarceration. Mugshots and press releases of my prosecution became my revelation. The talents of my practice, once perfected manifested my public reward. Then it was time to transition. Once transient I became a man of mission.
Image result for eric dilley mugshots
When I took in these words while reading Awaken the Giant Within, “We are rewarded in public for what we practice for years in private.” memories moved into my mind. Many questions began to flow from a newer version of me years in recovery. Like “What kind of things do I practice in private?“ And “What kinds of things do I do most often?“ “What are my choices when no one is looking?“ “If I keep doing these things how will I be rewarded in public?

A new power was produced by this perception. I began to look forward into my fortune. The choices I make in isolation no longer result in my incarceration. My solo decisions are made to a decided destination. I find peace in not allowing randomness to redirect me to an undesired present.
I shall conclude this directed to you. You, who chose to read this in its entirety. I challenge you to navigate entirely and honestly. Imagine your future reward, should you reach the destination of your direction. Ask yourself, “What kinds of things do I do most often?“ “What are my choices when no one is looking?“ Think about all the choices you make at home, in your car, and your collective privacy. Will your present be presented positively?

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The BA2L is real,
Be Addicted 2 Life.
Eric (Airek)


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