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Showing posts from August, 2018

Regulating your emotions in recovery with SOP.

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I guess it's always been a struggle. These emotions are what I crave to control. For a decade I used drugs. It's kind of funny though. I remember tripping on mushrooms one day at Keller - Kirn Nature Park in Lancaster, Ohio telling some friends there how amazing life is. I wasn't running from anything. I was only trying to enjoy life to its fullest. It wasn't so much that I didn't like my life. I wanted to like it even more. I think that is the classic tell told tale from the likes of us. MORE. 

When something feels good, I want it as often as I can. When I first started using pills, I remember thinking they made me feel like a better version of me. I had more energy. I worked harder. I was more social with people. I felt, cool. Feelings. These feelings and emotions we have ruled my life.  
It took ten years for the "good" feelings to reap nothing but destruction. Over time, I began using the drugs in part to numb the mistakes made through my addiction. It …

Why structure is necessary in recovery.

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I lived so long like dead, dancing dandelions in the warm wind of spring. I was blind being directed by my drugs. The earthly character of me had manifest mischievous and miserable. I needed to be a new me, born celestially. 


During my incarceration I knew I couldn't be the old me anymore. The old me spent all of his time with drugs and with people who used drugs. His thoughts were on drugs. I had to find new ways to spend my time. New friends. And I had to think differently. This is a massive new creation. I didn't do it alone. And it is only through Universal Parental Patience that I have made it this far. At least when I was in jail, my options were limited.

When I got to rehab I learned about structure. Well the necessity of it. They just didn't really show me how to continue with it. So I continued to learn and ask questions until I came up with my own.
The creation of cosmic character can not be without structure.
It's crazy to me how incredibly complex we are. Have …

RATS!!! why addiction?

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There’s no question that addiction to drugs and alcohol can happen to anyone. It doesn’t discriminate. Some of us might have begun in search of acceptance. Others might of thought it was the cool thing to do. Maybe we just grew up around it. Being the why's are as diverse as the types of people who are affected I don’t want to dwell in this water of wonder. I would like to share an experiment called rat park.

In 1978, Canadian psychologist Bruce K. Alexander conducted an experiment where he got rats addicted to drugs. He wanted to see if environment had impact on drug usage. In one cage there was nothing but two bottles of water. One was spiked with opiates. The rats would use so much they'd die from malnutrition. [LINK]
In another "cage" he made an amazing "park" filled with other rats and activities. The rats in this "rat park" chose to not use the spiked water. To take the experiment further he got rats addicted for 57 days then introduced them t…

The nightmare revealed 3 ways to race

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I can remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming for my mom. I would shake, sucking up short breaths in need of her comforting embrace. The soft rub of her compassionate hand across my back, and her loving whisper in my ear, "It's okay honey, it's okay, it was just a bad dream." I still have these night terrors even as an adult. I've become numb to them. 

Our nightmares and our deepest fears prevent us from doing some of the things we want to do the most. On the other side of them is freedom. To get through them though we may need the help of a loved one who has been through it before. Maybe a stranger who is just pretending bravery to save face. Sometimes, we go it alone, or so we thought.
The Nightmare Challenge was a perfect wrap up to the Ohio Grand Slam. This season has brought me up, it has humbled me, I have learned immensely. My current understanding is that there are three ways to participate in this world. To run for fun, to compete to win, a…