"Ah...I get it now"
For instance when I realized I had to get clean on my own. When I understood it was my problem, not OUR problem. I always knew that, yet I never really KNEW, until I was still using in a city miles away from my wife. I believed without her I wouldn't get high. Then in a hotel in Tampa Florida, I spent the last of my money on more crack. This time it was accompanied by a bold awareness that it was only my motivation, and my decisions that got me there. It was then that movement slowed to allow me to look up and say, "AH...I get it now."
The other day I was listening to Brendon Burchard tell his story on YouTube. There he coined the phrase "Mortality Motivation." His story reminded me of the eye opening experience of when my immortality was stripped from me. It was then that I was then clothed in garments gifted in time. For me, I was in the Fairfield County Jail, January 2014. They have a great Chaplin named Pastor Tom Underwood. I've had many conversations with him, none more memorable than that, on time. I was looking out of the bars of my cell with wide eyes filled with excitement when I yelled, "Pastor Tom!!!" He redirected over my way, and with his big bearded smile and inviting eyes he welcomed me. With his attention I said, "Time! Pastor Tom! Can you believe it? We are living in time! Like, this is precious! What have I done with the time I've been given? What am I going to do with the rest? Do you know how valuable time is?!?!?" I asked as if I had just been zapped into a body for the first time out of the formless, and timelessness expanse of eternity. Then with the understanding of a Father to child he responded "Yes, isn't it amazing. God has big plans for you Eric." I had been given, at this moment, the gift to truly and deeply live. Then clock's ticking delayed just long enough for me to look up and say, "AH...I get it now."
Another moment I can clearly call to mind is the time I began to value, value. I was in the passenger seat of my sisters white Toyota Rav 4 when having a heart to heart about, what does value mean. I was so interested in this new, old word turned idea, that it remained in my mind being more and more refined. I was living with my Dad and Step Mom when my sister dropped me off. I walked in the door and I thought, "What value am I bringing them by being here?" I decided to make sure that when I left they might just for a moment think, "You know, it was nice having Eric here." I could see the value that they had in my life, the value that I had in their life, and it's ever important role in relationship. Life is about being able to add value to the lives of others. Then God hit pause to allow me to look up and say, "AH...I get it now."
These awe inspiring moments when seconds split for us, let us appreciate the deepness of Life, and make it worth living. It's only possible though, I believe once we let go of the notion that, "We know." The bottom line is that we don't. Once that is taken away, all that can be left for us is Faith. Wow. Once again the Earth, for a second stopped its spin to let me once again look up and say, "Ah, I get it now."
The BA2L is real,
Be addicted to Life,