The robotic frog was real.

Image result for frog on sidewalk

It's a bit wondersome when we gaze back into the reflection of our former lives to re-live these memorable moments. Truly in doing so we often can see the Director hard at work. For instance, it wasn't until after I recalled these adventures was I able to see the crossroads which literally, and figuratively were laid before me. Here is the continuing of my memory, which I started last week.


As I sat there on the railroad tie at the crossroads of the alley I was in, the dialogue in my brain was trying to figure out the material world before me. I stood up and walked toward the gate thinking,

"Even if this is true what are you going to do? Knock on the door? Are you going to just walk in there? What if you’re wrong and you’re breaking into the neighbors house of the person that is giving you a place to stay?" 

This motivated me back to the railroad tie for another sit. My head lay resting in my hands and fingers running through my hair; my eyes glaring to the street with a blank stare.
"What am I going to do?" I thought. Eventually I made the decision to watch the house from a distance. I walked through a parking lot, then across the street where I was sure they wouldn’t see my discrete stare. I watched a young male walk out to his car and when his face met my gaze, I walked away. 

Image result for van driving away in dark"I can’t break in there." Thus I enter the night and begin the rest of my plight. Nighttime is so much more peaceful than daylight. It’s ghost like. As I walked I floated in and out of the flickering street lamps while the cold night air tried to comfort my cares. 

On the crossroads of 5th Ave. N and MLK Jr Blvd I stood. Then, by what is now the Heart Gallery of Pinellas and Pasco a van drove by full of young adults, and out came an object thrown at my feet. 
This is the actual spot I stood and that sidewalk is where the frog hopped.

"What is that?" I said a loud. And when I bent down to get a closer look, IT HOPPED!  

"Is that a frog?" My eyes were attached to it by amazement. It’s little head looks up at me with a quick twitch and turns to the meter boxes. Again it looked at me quite oddly and turned it's head as if it was directing me to look. 


"What the hell? I’ve got to be trippin." It begins hopping toward the electrical meter boxes located outside of the three-story brick corporate building. Then I noticed there was a strange wire running from this box. It ran up the side of the building and through a drilled hole, then rolled into the second story. 

"That’s super strange."  

"They have people up there. People who are kidnapped. They are scared. Go get them." These thoughts I dismiss as my own irrational thoughts. 

I move on and continue my quest up the street toward St. Anthony's Hospital.

While walking away from the strange situation I was just in, all I can think about is if I'm ever going to see the real Heather again. "How can I go to war with an organization that has the power to kidnap, and employ a body double babysitter, to watch over and wreak havoc on the mind of a loving spouse? There is no way." 

My intuition leads me to a beige brick building I know all to well, on the corner of 5th Ave N. and 10th St. It has a fenced lot adjacent to it I see a suspicious white van parked behind the gate with a no trespassing sign. 
This is the building now. Then it was not painted. Directly
to the right of the door stood guard the man in the
form of a bush.

"That is the Van that took Heather here. She is inside this building now." 

Image result for alchemy"I can't go in there it says no trespassing." I look very carefully at this building and like I said I knew it very well. This foliage was not there before. So I stared. I stared. The longer I stared I could see the form of a man being concealed. Energy can not be created or destroyed, but can change form. Humans with high knowledge of alchemy know about transmutation. Master this concept and your masks are limitless. 

"I see you" I said softly. I know she's in there. Heather. She is my wife."

The form moves it's head up very slowly.

"I can't fight you. I love her though. I don't have much. I want her back. Sell her back to me please."

A heavy and deep voice comes from the form. "400. Tomorrow." Then just as slowly as the forms head moved up to look into my eyes, it returned to it's guard position. 

With excitement I began to plan my tomorrows day of shoplifting from the the giants of american commerce. 

There is more that happened that night. However as the night came to a close I returned to the place I was staying by day break. With the other Heather still there, and much needed sleep, I fell into the dreams of my unconscious. Upon waking up I deleted my quest of the higher calling, and added an addicts normal life of adventures for the true sobriety of their dependency.  


Image result for professor xEven today as I write this I wonder, were those my own irrational thoughts? I mean there is nothing rational about this situation. At all! By the way I picked up the frog. It was a freaking robotic frog with a rubber skin man. A ROBOTIC FROG!! Are you friggin' serious!? What if these thoughts weren’t mine at all? What if, for lack of a better explanation, Professor X was trying to guide me to a higher calling? What if I had listened to these thoughts and pursued them? What if there were people trapped!? Where are they now? Were these all delusions? A robotic frog was thrown out of a van by a man matrix style!! OK so I know no one believes this and it’s easy to write off as another crazy druggie tweaking on meth. But it was real to me. It’s still is. The what if’s. That question of what is real? They always fall back onto the, "Well it’s never happened sober." reasoning.

Guys. People. What I’m saying is, I know from experience that watching someone you love lost in addiction is tough. I’ve done it. But reintegration to an addict... This reality I was submerged into was very, very real to me. Do you think it’s easy for an addict  to be satisfied with a life of normalcy? Some of us once lived lives worthy of a big screen, full of intense romance, adrenaline pumping action mixed with a damned drama that can make the life just as addicting. This dramatic change may not be so different from someone who has went to war and must back home to an average job. Talk about post Traumatic stress disorder. It can be as a shock wave producing temporary disorientation or belief. Then we wonder why us addicts many times relapse years later after the drudgery of the mundane 9-5, dinner, Netflix, sleep and repeat. 

This is why to me, Direction is a huge component in staying clean. The "why" that may never be satisfied. A new continuous never ending mission which gives us those little doses of pleasure when we achieve, and a new process to fall in love with. Then we really can become addicted to life. 

Image result for traumatic

Looking back it's easy to see, I wasn't designed to be, a superhero entity. During this part of my life I was in the middle of a metaphorical crossroad and literally sitting on a railroad tie at an actual crossroad. Really,  three literal crossroads. Decisions were made and they sent my life into a certain direction.

Lesson Learned: The decisions we make at the crossroads of our life determine our direction. Without knowing our destination who is directing our direction? Know your destination and determine your own direction.

The BA2L is real,
Be addicted to life,


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